Breaking Bad: The "stigma" of breakups

What breeds Love; cultivates Hatred

"I learned that you cannot force someone to love you, all you can do is be someone to be loved. There will be many who won't; and that won't be the end of the world"

There is an amusing stigma attached with breakups, with people leaving your side or behaving differently with you, for whichever reasons they see fit.
The betrayal is heartbreaking and the very idea of people leaving your side is mournful.

It is viewed as something to be mourned about. Something to detest, something regretful, something which forces the person to introspect and look for things that they did wrong, only to criticize themselves. But should that be the case?

We think that relationships are formed when two like minded individuals come together, or when similar people interact and develop a mutual understanding. If that's the case, how could you explain the law of attraction(nothing to do with Newton) Polar opposite people sharing a deeper bond, people with the difference of opinions spending their lives till the last breath; or the egoistic chairpersons of a conglomerate building an empire together?

Any relationship, business or personal thrives through a mutual understanding of faith, belief and trust on one other. We think that the quarrels, mistrust or doubtfulness develops due to the lack of love, care or affection, because it is difficult to blindly trust when you love someone deeply, to have an unconditional faith when you risk away everything and receive nothing in return and have to an unwavering belief in absolute despair. It is the lack of this faith, belief and trust that ruins something which you thought was permanent, was perfect.

The lack of these three is so suffocating that people long for space, so confining that people feel the burden of bonds and so disheartening is the disappointment that it ruins you to the very core, for we change the very qualities of the person we came so close with.

Yes, this is a cliched post over a rugged topic about a condition with which everyone suffers and tries to cope up in their own way....but while doing this, people forget the very essence of themselves and their beloved, trying to everything they loved about it. Yes at times things which seem to be there for long are the first to fall, but nothing lasts forever. Inspite to all that knowledge of how things work, how to make it work again and what needs to be done to pick ourselves up, we forget!

You forget that people are allowed to leave you... but you are allowed to mourn their loss.

You forget that people are allowed to break up with you... but you are allowed to feel betrayed.

You forget that people are allowed to love you but not want to be with you... and you are allowed to question why and demand answers and reasons, thinking you deserve that.

You forget that people are allowed to not want to talk to you... and you are allowed to not want to hear from them.

You forget that people are allowed to put their happiness before yours and do what makes them happy even if it does not include you... and you are allowed to cut ties with anyone who isn't loyal to you.

You forget that people are allowed to move on from you... and you are allowed to heal at your own pace.

You forget that people are allowed to fall in love with someone else... and you are allowed to still love people even if they stop loving you.

You forget that people are allowed to not want you in their life... and you will be righteous in not letting them waltz in at their convenience, and neither will be wrong!

You forget that people are allowed to do whatever they want to become the person they always longed to be, to become the version of themselves they are trying so hard to love, even at your cost... but they are not immune to the consequences of their actions or the fallout of those they hurt while on their path to self-discovery.

It is all genuine and natural and totally all right. Although you may be breaking up these bonds; but still you somehow live on! Perhaps you grow out of that shell and you have outgrown your bond, maybe the other person no longer needs you. But is it something worth destroying the very self you're made of? There will be a million reasons with no conclusions and as much as you want to figure out the logical fallacy of the timeless tragedy, you will be left with nothing but self-loathing, guilt or worse.

Every shade of love and hate that arises are a part of it and expecting to separate the inseparable is futile, for what breeds love; cultivates hatred.

A snake sheds its skin and outgrows a new layer of it. The skin that has been through everything so far is no longer needed. Each time, something seemingly eternal will be replaced by something better. In an age where the smartphones change faster than the SIM cards, are relationships any better?

20 is Beautiful | Life

Teenage is pretty, But 20 is Beautiful!

Exciting and scary for most of us, this might be the time where we learn to find our own path, create our own and discard all the teenage influence, peers, teachers, family or the opposite sex. In one way or the other, they tend to influence us, somehow force us to be what they want us to be, not anymore.

In our age, it’s a time when we’re either graduating from college, pursuing higher studies or seeking a job; anyway anyhow; we’re trying to be on our own. Without getting into the details (sabko sabkuch pata hai) we all spend a lot of time thinking about HOW to be like everyone else and be accepted.

What we don’t see yet, is that people are full of SHIT. INCLUDING ME! Most people take care of themselves first. We all think that money will solve all our problems, but it doesn’t. There are people who would pull you down, even walk all over you if they have to, and people who pursue money over all things are most problematic.

There are no clear-cut answers to most of the life's questions, and no, our life doesn't end if  we could longer impress our faculties or the next-door-SHARMAJI or DOOR KE RISHTEDAAR or work for the employer we worked so hard to impress in those interviews.

It takes TIME to understand that human nature is the common thread in all things human. And, in most cases it is problematic.

Within this period of my life, for me anyhow, came an epiphany. I realized these things and many more that I haven’t mentioned

And, I had a decision to make, either to man-up and face the bullets, be myself, be genuine, find my own path. Work on ways to be genuine, even if it meant taking those hard blows of blames, accusations and criticism or to stay down and keep running for a cover, a shelter in my comfort zone, hiding in the false security of a large company, or a small one for that matter. Do the boring and meaningless daily round of life, clock in, clock out, never make your own big decisions, get caught in the downward pull of credit cards, material possessions, and be a tiny ant among the crowd of others who's real value is to drive up the stock price of corporations, and make the very wealthy and powerful even more so.

When you're doing your own thing, you don't have to make allowances. But it's a tougher road. It's a better road, though. And you can find others like you. You can carve out your own place in the world.

You start looking at people differently. You start seeing yourself apart from the masses. Not better, just apart, as you start to think for yourself.

The other thing is, once you start being you, you're going to take some heat, actually a HELL LOT OF HEAT. Some of your friends will think you're crazy and stupid, that you’ve changed. You no longer have proper time for them, and say so, It's inevitable that you're going to lose most of them, too. If you make a sacrifice, e.g. start-up, you might end up not having a lot of cash for a while. I went through that. I made sacrifices, like cutting out budgets, hanging out less often, not buying new clothes for myself, etc. I was surprised to learn how many people decided I was a loser because of it. But I kept going, and I am still going. I ended up in the company of like-minded people, who came to know me, understand me, and accept me, and more than anything, support me. who made greater sacrifices than I did.

Soon I have to go someplace far away soon, but even then I have not given up on my path, and I know that I will always have a home for me to return to. I am still scared as hell and still need to figure everything out, but it does not matter!

If you’re reading this, all I can say is; this age is beautiful in all its imperfections. There will be times when you may feel suicidal, times where you’d think that broken hearts and shattered dreams will be the end of the line; but there’s a LOT more to it.

In the past, there will be nothing but regrets and the future holds nothing but uncertainty. Only in the PRESENT you’d find solace. 

Cry, Scream, Shout Sulk, Hate, Live, Laugh, Love; do everything that feels cliché, because it all comes down to TWO Important questions:-

• One that the world will ask of you “WHAT have you done with your life”
• Second, which you’d be answerable to yourself and yourself alone: “WHY did I do that”

The answers to these questions will never be simple, none of the life’s matter really are. But answering them will make you realize, Why 20 is beautiful.  

Blog Trial

Well...
The Blog Title as you have it, has already shown, I am a total amateur in the Blogosphere as we have it, the only experience being with the Microblogging Birdie Twitter, where the tweets that go are only due to that being linked to my Facebook Account.

Washington always surrounded by some amazing people who updated their blogs, have read countless articles and compilations, and also witnessed some fabulous and magnificent creativity which have change the perception of art in my mind. But the idea of having one of my own came out of a moment of a eureka, to give this a shot to see what can I make of it.

This sure does require patience and a mind free of everything else that's going around, to write the best of what you can, Still I have chosen to write at a time like this, where there are other prior commitments that I am supposed to prioritize, a gazillion things running in my mind, Pre-university test and an Internal examination scheduled tomorrow. This isn't what I am supposed to do this moment, neither can this act be justified by any credence, prudence, knowledge or rationality. But this seems to be the right time, I may call it a change, or call it a break from everything else I am upto. I may not seem in control of myself, but possibly I am wanting to do this, and I am deliberately letting myself do, totally acting on my instinct.

I know what should I do to make this blog seem way better than it does right now, yet I want this to look shabby, messed up, menial, desperate, and haphazard. Because this is the first blog and I want this to be somewhat, Dirty.

Nonetheless, the idea of having a webpage that lets you have the best of it, and give you the bragging rights for that too, is fascinating. Will love to get more of this.


This is just another blogger entry out of the millions that are happening this moment, but it might be a leap of faith towards a way of conquering the mind and heart of people reading them, connecting them, hopefully showing them a reflection of themselves in these texts, wishfully inspiring some, and in the process, finding a part of me with every blog I post....